You are welcome. If I can be of any help, I am honored.
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I know I am the prize ( most days), the one he would be crazy to leave. I think what scares me is he seems to realize that too, even somewhat verbalize it, but still wants to leave.
Just goes to show that it's really not about you, right?
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As far as deal breakers- I'm not even positive what they are. They might be different for eventually working on the marriage versus gaining some space and breathing room right now.
Deal breaker means: if H does (or doesn't do) X, you're done with the M. And yes, they can change.
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As far as I know there are no other OW and he is around so much with me and kids I think I would know- but any thing is possible.
Same for me and my W. This is a HUGE positive. For me, this means we need to do our best to listen, and meet our spouses needs... So they don't have to run to OP to have those needs met.
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What I see is him forging friendships with other people. That should be a good thing but I worry about whether he has any boundaries right now since he's trying to "fill his holes".
Let him go. He has to see this through to make it out the other side. Friendships with others is necessary for him right now. If he's anything like my wife, and I think he is, he will tell you about these friendships. Listen and build on that.
Your assignment is to write on the blackboard... "I am the prize!" 500 times.
M: A really long time. Crisis: 5 years. She's still worth it.
Life is never made unbearable by circumstances, but only by lack of meaning and purpose. -Viktor Frankl
