what do I do...

[cq1]

I lost it last night. I went to see her in her room and ended up asking for trust between us. I told her she can trust me. Then i asked her if i can have het trust. She simply said it doesn't needed to be ask. I told her the pain I felt from everything that has happened is over powering at times. Simply I think I was pursuing and pushing again in an indirect way and it backed fired. She reiterated the ilybnilwy. I got so upset that I told her that if she wanted a divorce then Do it. I work hard everyday and i felt like i was just being used by her.

Then this morning I realized I was expecting more fr her because I choose to work hard and I regret what I said.

As for the friendship and th A. She says she's ready for me to expose it to everyone. But I know she doesn't mean it.

As of now , still living in limbo.

[bashy]

Take a step back cq1. Breathe.... I made a huge mistake like yours last week but have dusted myself down and am going to start again.
Think before speaking. I didn't, although the wine didn't help.
Become her friend. Hold back on anger and bad thoughts. You will see a change in her once you do that but it will take time.

[Starsky309]

cq,

You are looking to your wayward wife for both COMFORT and HONESTY

I can assure you, she is not of the mindset to give you EITHER right now.

You tried to draw a hard line with her, but only AFTER she rejected your supplication. Very unattractive to her, I am sure. You're all over the map.

Starsky

[Maybell]

Cq1, it might take a while before you can be calm enough to be friendly. when I was first starting DB I lost my composure way more often than not. I always took responsibility for those times, usually apologizing by text to keep myself from losing it again, and then staying away as much as possible till I felt like I had more self-control. This is harder when you're still living together. Try, if you can. It does make a difference.

Best to you!

[Ben2010]

Cq1, it might take a while before you can be calm enough to be friendly. when I was first starting DB I lost my composure way more often than not. I always took responsibility for those times, usually apologizing by text to keep myself from losing it again, and then staying away as much as possible till I felt like I had more self-control. This is harder when you're still living together. Try, if you can. It does make a difference.

Best to you!

What I wouldnt give to have mine still living with me. I feel like it is a much better chance to work out with the spouse living in the same home still.

[Maybell]

Oh, me too. But I couldn't have achieved detachment otherwise. Silver linings...

[Ben2010]

I can agree with that part of it, but I never see mine for at all for any reason now. It [censored]

[cq1]

Thank you all. I need to gal for myself and only myself. I know this should be the course for me now. 22 years of being together and now I have to start doing things on my own. It's lonely and tough. However, you guys and gals support does help. Thank you.

[cq1]

I'm having a hard time dealing with how she can just be gone for the entire day without telling me anything. It used to never be like this.

[Ben2010]

Just let it go man. Dont question it or show any emotion about it at all. This could even be a 180 for you if you are used to questioning her about her whereabouts.