Possilble WAW

[PeterV2]

GoatGal is right about not being able to reason with a WAW in an A.

Here's an excerpt from Emotional Intelligence by Daniel Goleman which I found extremely illuminating:
"The emotional mind takes its beliefs to be absolutely true, and so discounts any evidence to the contrary... ... Feelings are self-justifying, with a set of perceptions and 'proofs' all their own."
So you cannot reason with someone who is emotionally bound in and A.

Work on yourself. Let the A take its own course. It will wither.


As for detachment, here's how to do it:
First go to: http://www.livestrong.com/article/14712-developing-detachment/

Copy this article into your word processor and edit it, taking out any words that don't apply to your situation, and replacing the words "person" with the name of your wife.

Also change the sentences so that instead of it saying "you cannot change or control a person" it should read "I cannot change or control W".

Read it through so that it makes sense and is stated in the first person.

Print it out, and read it several times a day until you internalize all the concepts.

Pay special attention to step 3.
In the section titled: What irrational thinking leads to an inability to detach?
Follow each sentence with the replacement concept.
For example the first sentence: If you should stop being involved, what will they do without you? should first of all be rewritten as: If I should stop being involved, what will she do without me?
Then follow it with the rational replacement such as: If I stop being involved she will be fine without me - she was fine without me before we met, and she will be fine without me now.

This exercise takes time and thought but it will yield you a plan to detach from the situation.

Read and reread DR.

Get sleep. Stay health. Exercise 3 times a week. Always be well groomed and well dressed. Walk with your head up, a smile on your face and whistle while you work. It all seems so counterintuitive, but it works.

And don't believe anything she says and only half of what she does.