What to do II

[Ben2010]

Thanks Wonka,
Yeah it is a rollercoaster. I feel very vulnerable right now. It doesnt much to bring me all the way down or all the way back up.

Well when we first AGREED upon the separation, it was not meant to be anything close to a D. We talked about it and decided that I would work on some of my issues that I have while she went and stayed with her parents for a bit. It seemed that way for the first couple of days that she was gone. Then it turned into a full blown WAW. She got very mean and angry when we would talk about the R. Decided not to call me when she said she would. Told me that she wasnt interested in fixing anything. All this to me seems like she is heading that way.

I just dont understand how some people can make it that long. I feel like my 3 1/2 weeks has been miserable torture. It isnt an issue of not caring enough to wait. It just seems like its getting worse instead of better. She knows that Im working on all of my issues as best as I can, but doesnt care.

I will say that I have done well lately on GAL though. I hang out with some new people over at my brother's house and we go out. However...now it seems that a very attractive 21 y/o girl that hangs out over there is interested in me just for sex...She knows that Im married, knows that Im 33. Its the age old problem of dating. When you have someone that you want, the women come out of every nook and cranny and throw themselves at you. When you dont...its a ghost town. Dont worry, I will not be entertaining doing anything with this girl at all. That is not even close to what I want right now. Though I will say that it did boost my self esteem a bit. It just feels good to know that you still got it.

The alienation of myself from friends that Im talking about is just that normal thing that happens when you start dating someone and then it turns serious. I just didnt have time for them during that and they slowly disappeared. So now I have my brother and one good friend left. Not much of a support group, but my brother has been awesome during this whole thing. I did have a friend contact me about coming over to his house on Sunday to play some board games and stuff(yeah I know kinda childish, but thats what we do). He is the kind of guy that would listen a bit and feel sorry for you, but not really be of much help. Better just to hang out and have a good time than to talk about it with him.

Any help you can provide based on whats going on with me would be much appreciated. Keep in mind that I have now not answered her phone calls the past 3 times she has tried calling. Im pretty sure she was trying to continue an argument and I want no part of that. Plus I asked her not to contact me until she was ready to work on the R. Not sure if this is the right thing to do or not, but that is where Im at.