the first Christmas that H was sort of here *but left the next day), I took the kids to a ski place a few hours from home. Just for 3-4 days. What a blast we had!
For my 25th wedding anniversary, I took our kids to Italy for 2 weeks. I did NOT do this to get back at h (but learned much much later how weird it was for him to not be able to reach us at HIS convenience). We/I saw so many things that were new and so stimulating to me, I was less reminded of h than ever before. That meant a lot b/c it helped my PMA so much....soooo much. Talk about GAL, being surrounded by a new language, new amazing sights and living out a dream I'd put on hold for far too long, was amazing. At least your boys are old enough for many of these adventures...and some are darn cheap!
As for "showing your wife"...hey, don't bother.
LIFE gives them consequences and it's not our job to teach them lessons or show them the consequences, but also not to cover those up.
My bottom line was that just as with many military families (we once were active duty) who have a parent gone for extended periods of time, the rest of us cannot put our lives on hold. WE MUST MOVE ON, HAPPILY, as much as possible. They still have a mother and when she's better, she'll PROBABLY be better.
(I am not giving you the 'in sickness and in health' mantra, but fwiw, I Do think she's off her rocker...) anyhow...
No more 'waiting to see" with her...instead now, today, you & your boys--more DOING.
Create those memories and enjoy them and pay no mind to her.
You are healthy and strong and have two sons to model healthy strong behavior for men to emulate, when they face setbacks, AND that we are each responsible for our happiness. Your job is showing them that they can be happy if/when they choose to be & make the effort to get there. Model that. And enjoy it...
She is AWOL for now, and that is really all that you know. And for now, isn't that enough?
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
