What to do II

[Thornton]

Dont reach out!

I know EXACTLY how you're feeling. All the panic, the worry, the second- guessing. Took me exactly 30 days before I heard from WAW.

You can do this.

[Ben2010]

Thanks Thorn,
I have such a nervous feeling in my gut right now like she is just forgetting about me and that maybe I made it easier for her to avoid talking to me. If I think about it logically, then I can see that this plan should work. Its when I throw emotion into it that I get worried because then I start thinking that this is a M not dating. It really should have the same general rules because we have no kids or house or anything really. Its like we are dating and living together. I dont know how you made it 30 days Thorn.

[Maybell]

First thirty days are the hardest, Ben, but if you put your mind to it it does get easier.

You can do it.

[Ben2010]

She just has no reason to come and see me at all right now. Like I said we have no kids nothing big that we own together. The only thing that keeps the possibility alive is that almost all of her stuff is still there. She has next week off I think so Im starting to think that she will come and get her stuff while Im at work. Then there will be no reason at all for her to be there.

[Thornton]

You just described my exact situation.

[Maybell]

Just because she has no built-in reason to come see you doesn't necessarily mean she won't at some point. Patience, guys!

[Thornton]

I was absolutely certain my WAW was moving on, no doubt in my mind. She was posting all these happy pics on Facebook, going to ball games, running with friends, brunches with her sisters.

My stomach was a mess! It still is, sometimes.

She eventually texted about coming to get her things. But then the tone changed and she started asking questions and being friendly. Went back to NC for about a week, then she texted on Fathers Day. Then she told me she is having "strong moments of sadness", "misses our church", asked me if this was easy for me.

Now Im back to NC and waiting again.

Follow the vets advice, dont contact. I had a hard time trusting that but I made myself. So far, they've been right and I've seen a few positives.

[Thornton]

Oh and get this!

She even posted herself dancing with her daughter to the song "Happy" by Farrell on Facebook about a week after she left. I almost puked when I saw that, literally.

I was wrecked when I saw that! Now it appears the balance of power is slowly changing. My brother recently told me (because I stopped looking at her FB) that she is posting lots of sad poems and sayings.

Hang in there, I know it's gut wrenching.

[Ben2010]

My brother is still urging me to not answer her calls when/if she calls me. I dont know if thats the right thing or not. It feels wrong to me at this point. Of course I want to talk to her, who on here doesnt want to talk to their S.

Thanks for the words of wisdom and encouragement Maybell and Thornton. Right now I feel like I could get hit by a bus and it would feel better than this.

Then she told me she is having "strong moments of sadness", "misses our church", asked me if this was easy for me.

I wish she would tell me that this bothers her at all. I have yet to hear one word from her that leads me to believe that it is affecting her negatively. Meanwhile Im stuck at home or at my brother's house because I have alienated myself from friends and now only have about 2. And I can feel my brother starting to get irritated with talking to me about it. I guess I would be too if I had to deal with it everyday. He has been great throughout this whole thing though and Im very thankful for it. I am also thankful for all of the support that you guys give me on here too. I dont know where I would be without it.

[Ben2010]

See again that is very encouraging for you. I hope that happens in my sitch too. Are you all married Thorn?