Here's the key, do what you want to do without expectation but with a level of detachment.

If you want to go to lunch with him and you can do it without expectation, do it.

If you want to go to dinner with him, and can do it without expectation do it.

If you want to have sex with him and can do it without expectation, do it.

That's how you avoid cake-eating (which is an action only you can define) by only doing things that work for YOU.

Don't do things for effect, to get an reaction from him. You have no control over his thoughts or feelings, he could have any number of reactions.

Bottom line-do what makes Maybell happy but the kicker is, sometimes we aren't honest with ourselves. Be brutally honest.

I think your recall of the incident with your H does have significance. What do you think the significance is?

Me 57/H 58
M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13

Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do.
I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering.
Caroline Myss