First time in three months the kids stayed over, or she texted you?
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its weird because she wants to keep everything under both our names...the insurance the house the cars etc etc. like if we are still married but divorced
That's b/c a WAW (especially if there's an A) seems to have no sense of fairness. She wants all the benefits she received as your W to continue ....but she just doesn't want you as part of the package. She will claim you are trying to punish by not paying through the nose for her to have an easier life.
As I said, there may be no A at the moment, but if not...then she's getting prepped for one.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!