Why are you so afraid of her "threats" of getting a lawyer? Let me tell you, if you will start turning the tables on her, you may see an attitude adjustment! If the house is in your name, too, then what makes you believe you could be forced out?

What exactly is in this R for you? You are holding down a job and doing the housework, putting up with a disrespectful W, and doing without sex.

I'm thinking when she said you wen't fulfilling her emotionally, it was from a more self-centered position. If you discuss and share your feelings, show her attention, etc.........and she says you sap the positive energy, then maybe she sees it as you complaining and whining. She tells herself you are so negative all the time, and she wants happy, positive people around her to keep her feeling better. smirk Instead of listening to you, she may simply want you listening and sympathizing with her. IDK.

How much fun do you have as a couple? How much do you socialize with other couples?

Sometime back before she started turning you away, something was turning her off from you sexually. Did she suggest you move out of the bedroom, or were you the one who decided? Either way, it was not a good choice. It causes an emotional division and distance in the MR.

My suggestion is to start turning things around. Tell her, "I've thought hard about our situation, and frankly, this whole thing isn't working for me. Maybe you are on the right track. I mean, we both deserve to have someone special, right? So, maybe one of us should leave. Okay......so, let me know when you have a place, and I'll help you pack your stuff."

Of course, that has to be face to face! Don't take a cowards way out and email, TM, or VM her. You need to practice saying it until you can pull it off confidently. Don't rush your sentences, and watch her face as it soaks in. Then brace yourself.

She's the one who wants out, so she needs to be the one who leaves. You and the kids can stay in the home. She will have to pay all her new expenses she'll have b/c you aren't paying her way any longer. You sure as heck won't be cleaning up behind her!

You may need to rehearse this in your mind until you can say it and not show emorion. It is important she doesn't see any fear in you. This has to be said face to face. Don't take the cowards way out and email, TM, or VM her. She would probably laugh at it. You make a believer out of her by being very confident. Say it slow enough to let it soak into her brain. Then turn and walk away.

If she threatens by using the kids, don't succumb to her pressure. She'll grab at anything to throw at you right then. Just act as if it doesn't scare you. Have your keys in hand and ready to go out for the evening. It gives her time to throw her little fit.

But listen, you need to get legal advice to know your rights about your kids, property, and finances. Protect, protect, protect! Prepare for the worst, and hope for the best.

(To be clear, the little speech above is not in the books, and I feel it would probably not be the advice you would hear from a DB coach.)

It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!