Thx Starsky, this is very helpful. Old MDU jumped on it and tried desperately to push things along. I've always been the driver in the relationship.

Having said that, while I agree it would be unwise to move too quickly, I'm anxious to balance this with showing him the path home is still "smooth and clear". Old MDU used much, much more minor offenses against him far past their expiration date. I know he has a legit fear of this.

Additionally, since I have always been the driver I suspect that if I don't clearly state "hey, I'm looking for you to take the initiative and move this forward" that we will hang in limbo for a long time. That he'll just wait for me to make the plan. I mean can I realistically expect him to change this without clearly stating, I know I've always been the driver but this is something you need to drive, don't wait around for me to?

Am I making any sense? lol, my mind is reeling a bit with this latest development.

M: 42
H: 43
M: 8 years
S7 and D4
H has D19 and S25 from previous M
Bomb: 3/6/14 OW discovered, EA & PA
1st separation, 10 days, decided to reconcile & moved back in. Fail
2nd separation: 5/1/14