NAP, Your h is like a little boy wanting mom's attention and when you don't have contact w/him, he's not getting that attention. So, yes, he's going to push your buttons to get a reaction out of you. If you don't react to the button pushing, at some point, he'll try something different. It's his way to see if you are still "there" for him and not totally detached.
When the conversations begin to go south, cut the conversations short and go about your business. The less you argue, the less justification he has for doing what he's doing.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
