"Stop coming up with "plans". They are messing you up."
I dont know what to say to this except that its true as ive seen it myself.
"NO! That is not the reaction she's going to have. She's going to say, God I can't wait till he leaves. He irritates the sh*t out of me."
Hmm fair enough so keep it short and simple and look sincere.. also what reactions are we expecting from saying what you stated? I just want to get a better understanding.
"Hold on here. You still don't get it. You have to actually UNDERSTAND why I'm recommending you do certain things. If you don't like it, then go ahead and keep doing what you're doing. Don't blame or put the responsibility on others and their advice just because you don't want to do the work to learn. In fact, you haven't even finished reading the book."
I will read the book when im home, when im at my mums ill read it over and over again. I do want to understand certain things you tell me to do.. and I asked for the above if you dont mind.
"I would very surprised if this happened."
So would I.. but im constantly trying to get my mentality right in order to do it. But what methods can I use to help me from refraining from doing this? I understand meditation hekps to control the mind and now I see it in a whole new light which I will definitely give a go.
"Why don't you explain to all of us why you will be doing this?"
I will be doing this because if im emotional I will sound needy and desperate and also may become controlling, she'll pick it up from my voice.. however if im happy and upbeat it will make her wonder and theres more chance of having a pleasant convo rather than the depressing talk.. my only concern here is since she hopes I find someone and move on would this not make her feel like getting a divorce more as she says she will only stay with me for my sake and she would have to accept a miserable life
Ill answer a few calls and return most as it shows im doing things with my life and not just sitting around doing nothing.. which is something I plan on doing.
As for txts from what I heard its not good to txt back straight away however I dont understand why.. and usually with my txts.. well we all know how they go.
"For what? And once you're done with the gym, then what?"
Well since I work ill probz go gym during the evenings or late night with friends and then go home have a shower, eat go sleep.
"Which won't have you learning anything about your sitch."
Oh ok I thought this was galling sorry I may have been mistaken then because what you said makes sense.. how would I learn about my sitch? From what I know I would have thought reading the book but I feel thats not enough.
"End it here. I sincerely doubt she'll be calling you, but if she does, dont tell her that you expect her to tell you how it went."
Fair point and noted, I feel I would be so insecure if she didnt call thinking is she keeping herself busy by talking to the OG, it might make me call her on private number at night checking to see if her phones busy.. but she'll know its me.. no one calls her on private. I really need to control that negative [censored] of mine. my insecurity, controlling behaviour and jelousy are the worst and I honestly believe if I can come across them it would be such a big change to me that I can be very proud of.
"Notice what? Just getting yourself physically healthy isn't enough."
Notice my changes.. I understand physical changes wont make much of a difference in comparison to my mental side.. as thats where im seriously lacking. Please state other things that may contribute to a positive reponse.. I think doing something with passion such as working on my body and concentrating on work may be a good change as well.
"No you're doing it as a trick to get her back. Then once she's returned, you are going to go right back to the way you were. Just a suspicion I have. Go ahead and prove me wrong if you can."
I think it is mainly for her.. but there are a lot of things I really do want to do such as going gym/working out.. I hope these changes become things I want to do which a part of me does already.
