WH - there are no certainties in life, but I would agree with your friend. These guys do seem to feel that we should be 'friends' But as many have remarked here, friends do not treat you like this. Even during divorce.
A good friend of cf mine went to divorce care classes, and the difference between what she (and a couple of other people with MLCers) were gong through and the rest of the class was just totally different.
I strive for civility (although don't always achieve it) in the very limited interchanges that I have, but friendship? It isn't possible imho as it is always about what they want.
Right now your xh aka J wants to feel OK about himself. He doesn't give a d*mn about how you feel, I could almost guarantee.
