Struggling with Boundaries

[juliegayle]

Arghhhh I am so angry and sad and I just want to scream and hit something. Things have been so calm lately I let myself start to hope things were turning around.

He twists everything. Everything. And I know this is nothing new but tonight it was just a slap in the face and tear my heart out.

S and I went to his therapist today. We talked about the situation in the house. (That is another post). Then I spent the rest of day with s and ss19. Thursday is one of the nights h sees OW but I actually thought that since his ss19 was there he would come home. Wrong.

When he does come home I ask if he would like to hear about s therapy. Obviously not what we talk about but the new impulse management techniques.
He listens and then says...

1. It is all bull
2. The therapist doesn't know s and his stupid techniques aren't going to work.
3. S doesn't have a problem I just don't know how to handle him and s never acts up with him.
4. He thinks I am lying about s being mean to dog.
5. The fact that I have to be on therapy and on crazy pills is proof I am not a good mother.
6. It is complete bull when 3 docs and a therapist say a child will act worse with parent they feel safest with.
7. He is terrified when s is alone with me. (I made the mistake of telling him s fell off the slide at playground. Obviously my fault. Would have never happened if h was tbere.)

I am listening to all this and trying to explain about therapy but when he said he doesn't trust ME alone with s I had to bring up the 2 times in the past month that he "fell asleep" while cooking and "slept" through smoke detectors going off. He admitted to it but said everything turned out fine. I said "what if I hadn't been here. " he said "oh let's hear it with your crazy what ifs?"

He is crazy right?

So at this point I am pretty sure he has been drinking and go out to his van aND find the cold 4 Loco. He sees me accuses me of snooping. And chants "full of sh!t" over and over lime a toddler.

Then he says "let's just be honest and this is the truth, we just aren't good together. "

And I really must be crazy because that is what made me run to my room so he wouldn't see me crying.

I am seeing an L on tues and I need to find out how to proceed if he really tries to, say s is, better off with him. S wull, not, be safe aline with him. Not the way he is now.