It's been a while, but things are improving

[JustLearning]

Hi everyone. I need to get some feedback on a conversation (or should I say disagreement?) I had with my ExH last night.

When he came to get S11 last night he said he wanted to talk about my move. That he has some "concerns" about us moving. Check out the past couple of posts about our move.

I'll try to give you a picture of how this sitch is right now. I live in Town A. Ex lives in Town B, which is about 14 miles North of me. He works in Town C which is 35 miles South of me, and is about 50 miles from his house. I will be moving within about 5-10 miles from where he works. Make sense?

As it stands now, he only has to drive about a 1/2 mile out of his way to get S11 on Fridays. I have to pick him up on Sundays and I have to drive the 28 miles round trip. By moving closer to where he works, he still wouldn't have to go far out of his way to pick him up and I'm increasing my drive to get him on Sundays. And he has a problem?

ExH said that he thinks he will have a harder time going to school functions and other activities that he MAY be in. How many school functions does he think there is in a school year? He doesn't make all of them now.

I think some of this is coming from the fact that his father just died last week and maybe feeling like he wants to have a better R with his son than he had with his own dad. I have been telling him that I will work with him on making sure he doesn't miss out, that we just have to work harder at planning ahead and making sure holidays and school functions are known about as far in advance as possible. He even has a school year schedule and I still have to remind him about his visitation times.

I am being blamed for him having to move around so that he can stay close to his son.

To give you a bit of background about our D. I left him, and moved back to our home state (where all my family still lived) 1500 miles away from where we were living. He moved back here after S11 was born (I was only 2 mos. pregnant when we split). There is nothing in our D decree that says I can't live wherever I want. We have been divorced for 10 years.

Does he actually think that I'm going to say to him, "Ex, I'm sorry that I'm inconveniencing you and your life, I guess I just won't move" ?? What does he expect me to say?

I would like to know your opinions of this, or if you need more clarification about anything.

When I first talked to him about this move, I listed all the reasons for our moving, although I know I didn't have to tell him anything. I have told him that I understood his concerns and tried to reassure him of working it all out. But it doesn't seem to make any difference.

What now?

JL