Like a moth to flame

[MrBond]

"Eventually I will start to send out occasional texts (no relationship talk, light and friendly) and then evaluate how she reponds to those."

That is fine. What I was worried about was everyone telling you to do NC, and what happens too often here is that people do NC to the point of never contacting the spouse ever, then wonder why their situation didn't change.

I would say it's perfectly fine to ask how your SD is doing especially since you raised her for half her life.