mid summer here too..blue skies in Bayern The Ruhr.. grey.. wished I had stayed home.. 'drove 450 ks and he can't see me for dinner maybe tomorrow..also can't be bothered to tell me.where when or how likely it is... seems like the stress is back when it seemed to be gone last week.. It is interesting to reflect on how he has hurt me.. it is every fibre of my being.. I guess if the marriage died piece by piece and you both sort of knew.. well it would be like knowing one of your parents had a terminal disease.. horrible and sad but understandable..at one level
this is more like saying good bye to brother who is then hit by a car- shocking, inconceivable and so so so painful.. no time to come to terms with it at all.
I understand what you are saying about letters like that Luke.. might not help me achieve my goal and the man I deal with at the moment would say " Why should I care..." so that would be another way to hurt.. I asked him once did he have any idea how I felt.. he said "probably not well!"
He works so hard to remove me from his life..I don't know why he bothers at all with thebits he keeps alive..The coach says keep up the contacts.. but I also have to work hard at not pursing..
so Luke the best of Swedish exports is on my list tomorrow IKEA! honestly those stores make me hyperventilate.. If I decdie to write a letter I will post it here.. good thought
