Roller coaster and then some

[daring]

I like the way if dealing with the boundary FY- going to work on that.

Trying so hard but ahhhhhh we have both lost our minds! Today in car he was in phone with coworker who is also our neighbor and close friend and former EA ( they both realized they were putting too much time into the friendship and backed off but it's still hard for me sometimes). Anyway she called back with a quick work question and he answered " miss me already?" To be fair his personality is of the sort he would do that with anyone, but it still bothers me and I couldn't hide it. Hate that! He said sorry, that he doesn't like hurting me, even though he knows there is a long list of things that he is doing that qualify.
I said you don't have to apologize, it's my issue to deal with and work through.

So he tousled my hair, rubbed my leg, grabbed my hand for a few seconds and was playfully teasing all throughout the rest of the car ride. When parking he commented that I looked nice, and my v neck shirt was distracting- haha! When walking upstairs he held on to my rear to help me up the stairs ( an old playful thing he's always done with me).
Then when we got to where we were going he pulled me aside and looked in my eyes and said he's sorry for adding any upset. I said it's really my issue- he said is there anything you need or want from me that would help? I told him I don't think I can ask for that right now given where he's at. He said what is it? I said well I want the relationship. He said we have "A" relationship. I said yes we do. The he asked if I wanted him to leave me alone. I said no I'll let you know if you're upsetting me or going too far. Then he just kept looking into my eyes ain silence and I could see lots of emotion. Then he turned to walk away. I seriously thought he might try to kiss me.

So aside from all the crazy mixed messages I'm getting, I know pretty soon I will have to make a decision on how far I'm comfortable with the physical stuff. His LL is physical touch, so I do think this is his way of reaching out some. That said I'm not comfortable going too far without more of an emotional component ( it doesn't have to be I'm moving home and we will love happily ever after- I know he still has lots of work to do. But it can't be I'm moving forward with the divorce but I still want to sleep with you).
I'm not sure how to do this, however, as previously I pushed away his advances and playfulness quite a bit and he felt that as rejection. I want to be clear that it's not that I'm not interested, only that I'm not interested if it's no strings attached......

Any input appreciated......