Ok, another day off for my kids. Not sure why, the roads might have been slick this am. Its kind of a good thing because my youngest has been sick. I picked him up early yesterday from school. Today he wouldn't have gone anyway. Then just a bit ago, he was sick. Sigh. Life with children is always an adventure!

Life is still just moving right along. I started school yesterday myself. The last math class I have to take for my degree, thank goodness! I'm getting tired of math problems!

Things are improving with my H, slowly of course, but they are improving. He told me that he's really trying to connect with us again. And I agreed. I asked him "did I ever tell you I am an impatient person?" in a joking manner. He laughed and said "did I ever tell you I am a procrastinator?". I started laughing and said, then we'll make a great pair!

It was another one of those moments that just feel "right". If that makes any sense. He told me on Sun that he has been talking to his boss about hiring more people in his dept(he is the head of his dept) so that he doesn't have to do it all. That he is spread out too thin. His boss agrees, so hopefully they will hire a few more people to take some of the load off H. He admitted that he didn't want to bury himself in his work anymore. If you don't remember my H at bomb time said he wanted to concentrate all his time to his career and couldn't manage both his career and his family. It was an excuse that I recognized right then, and he has buried himself in his work to ignore all the other problems going on around him.

I think(read hope) that is changing. We are even talking about moving. I've been thinking about it for awhile. I also started thinking this summer is probably the best time to do it before S10 starts middle school in the fall. By moving I will be closer to more of my family, and friends. And also when it's time for me to pursue my Bachelors degree, I'll be closer to the school I want to go to.

Anyway, it all sounds good. But we had a discussion about whether he's agreeing just to agree or if it truly makes sense to him and he's ready to really commit to us. I told him I don't want him to think that by moving it will make him happy. He needs to be happy with himself first. I didn't want the move to be a bandaid. He agreed and said that he isn't looking at it as a bandaid. We had a good conversation about it. I feel confident that this is truly what he wants too.

When he was over on Sun we had a really good day. Did some errands together. He went with me to pick up S10 from his dad's house. This is about the third or fourth time he's done that now in the last few weeks. It's nice. Another reconnection. That's how I see it. Him doing more of the normal things we used to do together. The next obstacle will be for him to agree to go to a family gathering. No pressure and no expectations on that one. When he's ready I guess.

All in all life is going well. I've actually started exercising and am starting to eat a bit healthier. I've actually made a plan to slim down this year. I'm hoping I can reach my target by June. That's the plan anyway. But I feel pretty good about this try. I feel different about it. Kind of like it's not really a choice, just something I have to do, like going to school. To me that is not a choice, it's just the way it is. That kind of thinking is what works best for me.

JL - going to do my exercises now!

Life is not measured in the breaths we take, but in the moments that take our breath away...