Thanks Mach and cadet, I guess the problem I have is that I can't come to any type of agreement with her as she will change her mind or say that we never even had an agreement. She doesn't seem to think there is anything wrong with this. She keeps insisting that we "don't have anything" to settle about and I guess if she thinks she can take whatever she thinks she wants and feel justified doing it, she's right.
I spoke with her last night briefly about the cost of private school for our D14. She knew aprox. how much it would cost and I told her I had looked into and told her how much exactly it would be. Her response was "I can't afford that". I told her that I am going to try to get financial assistance as now that we no longer are going to have 2 incomes she (D14) may qualify. Of course, it may be better if our D14 was in my custody as for now, I make a lot less than she does. That is going to be a sticking point in D and I guess we will see how much her wanting 50/50 is because of what's best for our D or because she doesn't want to pay CS or have to explain why she doesn't have custody.
I also have a problem with the fact that I'm the one having to do this kind of thing. All she wants to think about is moving into her new place and is acting like a kid getting her first apt. She is supposed to be filling out forms about how much she has in her retirement accounts and in our health expense account through her work but I don't even think she knows where to find the info and hasn't even tried. There's also the fact that our oldest D18 is going to want to start college in the fall and she will need a car and help with expenses. Since W rented this place she acts like D18 doesn't even exist except to say she can come and stay with her whenever she wants.
She was in such a hurry when her father was around to get this D going and done (a total 180 from just a week before when she was just wanting to separate) and now that he is away again, she is slowing down on that front. It seems that when she gets angry at me (just before she filed I told her I didn't want D14 leaving the state for the summer to stay alone with her father 1000 miles away) she gets all "I want a divorce, now!" but when I'm being agreeable to what she wants, she just isn't in a hurry. Of course a D isn't going to allow her to do whatever she wants when it comes to our D either but in her mind she seems to think it will.
I'm fairly certain that there is a storm brewing as soon as she gets moved in and the details are going to need to be worked out. I'm guessing that she is in for a surprise when she starts to see that her lawyer expenses are going to go up. Her father agreed to pay the retainer but her L is on an hourly rate where mine has agreed to a flat fee. I think I had better start taking an inventory of all the things that are owned by both of us before she takes it all away. She may not be prepared but I will be damned if I'm not going to be!
