Thanks DNO for checking in on me. Happy New Year to you too! I spent New Years Eve with S7 and my parents. They came down and we watched movies and a comedian that makes me really laugh. If you have never seen Bill Engvall, rent his stand up act, its a hoot!!

Saturday morning my H showed up and off we went. We were able to get S10 from his dad's to take him with us, so we were all together.

Unfortunately we lost most of our snow, so skiing wasn't as fun as it could have been. We skiied a bit on Sat night, then we went tubing on Sunday afternoon. We had a pretty good time anyway. It was all my H's set up, and it turned out not too bad, except we had to call around to find places that were open and had tubing.

There were a couple of times when I knew he had gotten irritated about something small (can't even remember what exactly they were about! ), but I just ignored it and went about my business. He seemed to be able to move on fairly quickly too.

The sleeping arrangements were as before, we ended up in the same bed, but with S7 falling asleep between us because he wanted to sleep with dad. I moved him to the other bed after he fell asleep. He never said one way or the other what he wanted.

I made a bit of a bold move and started giving him a massage. It progressed, but only he felt better in the end, not me. It was nice to be intimate although it was not actual s@x. It seems ok for me to make the moves on him, but he doesn't reciprocate. That bothers me. Alot.

Nothing was said at all the next morning or since then. I'm not bringing it up (so to speak ) because it will only upset me, and I know I won't get the answers I need.

How do I handle this newest thing? Do I continue very cautiously in making the moves, or do I drop it and wait for him to come to me? Right at the moment, I feel that will never happen.

But of course, when we got home, he said he'd call and check on us and hasn't. What a surprise. He left about 9-9:30 saying he needed to get ready for work today. I'm assuming that means laundry, etc. Who knows.

All in all we had a pretty nice time, but of course no R talk which doesn't surprise me with kids with us at all times. He said he had a great time, and then left. This is almost harder then when he first left and wanted nothing to do with us.

My patience needs to be rejuvenated somehow. Maybe I can find my stash while I get the house back in order after the holidays. That's my plan for this week. Then its back to school next week for me! My kids went back today, thank goodness, they needed it too!

Well, back to the laundry!

JL

Life is not measured in the breaths we take, but in the moments that take our breath away...