This journey has been such a learning experience for me, and yet I know that I still have much more to learn. Dealing with my H is always a ? as to what I should or should not say or do.

Reading other threads that talk about finding the positives has helped me in seeing the positives in my own sitch.

Even tho' we are not spending New Year's Eve together (my own fault, I'll explain in a minute), we are going up north tomorrow and staying overnight to go skiing and sledding with the boys! And it was HIS IDEA and HE SET IT ALL UP! I guess we can call that a positive??

But I am kicking myself for not inviting him over to spend NYE with us. I had asked if he had any plans, he said no not really. I then told him that I had been invited to a party, but not sure if I wanted to go. He told me about this party that he had been invited to, not sure if he watned to go. I guess I was expecting him to say how about we get together. Stupid on my part, I know. So this am I called and left him a message saying I wasn't going to the party maybe he wanted to come over.

I got an e-mail a while ago saying he'd been given an invitation by a co-worker to go to some private party at a new club owned by someone they both know. So, that's what he's doing. Saying he feels like an ass. Not sure why, tho'. It's me who feels like an ass. Why couldn't I just pipe up in the beginning and ask for what I wanted?

Why do I feel like it should be him that does all the asking and calling? Anyway, feeling a little bummed, but going to enjoy myself anyway. S7 and myself rented a few movies and got snacks so we'll have our own party!

Oh yeah another positive. We are all supposed to be going up north next weekend for an ice race that my H wants to try. Hopefully it gets cold again by then. It got in the 50's today and all our snow is gone! S7 said it felt like spring today, and wondered if summer was coming soon!

Anyway, hope everyone has a great New Year! May 2005 bring us the peace and joy we all so much deserve!

JL


Life is not measured in the breaths we take, but in the moments that take our breath away...