1. Accept his help as long as you need it and are emotionally able to do so without becoming attached to him/his behavior.
2. See how OW is acting toward your H?
3. See how your H is pining over her?
4. Any more questions?
*If* your H is ever going to come around (and that's a BIG "if"), it's going to be when YOU drop the rope (as OW apparently has) and HE does some serious work on himself. My fear is that, considering his history, even if he's acting "like normal" at home, it's just a matter of time before you're right back where you were. History tends to repeat itself when what CAUSES the history is not addressed and changed. It's HIS to change. Nothing YOU do will create change in him. But you may be able to *influence* his change by dropping the rope and not denying him the dignity of his own struggle. Give that to him.
Hugs to you and the kids.
M: 40 H: 44 Married 14 years S11 & D6; D20 & D19 from previous M 2BDs/PAs, 8 years apart Piecing: April 2014
