Just got off the phone with BIL. He says I should sever all ties ASAP and file. Get on with my next chapter. He said that will be healthiest for me and the boys.
Since this is her mess, I've asked her to pack the rest of her things and file ASAP? We already have debt broken down. We can discuss visitation with mediator. Told W this was difficult but I wished her the best. She said she knows now what to tell the boys but I DO want to be there to be sure there is no fog spin on her accounts of things.
Was in a VERY bad place today on my way home from work. Was there once before while she was blaming me for everything under the sun around Easter. This hurts a lot. I don't want this.
I've been there. It does hurt. Believe me when I say that though there will be good days and bad days, if you do the DB work you will feel better.
I'm curious, though, why you feel ready to do what your BIL says when you got similar advice at the start of your thread and didn't want to go there? What has changed for you?
Me42, H40 D12, S8, S7 A revealed: 7/13 Sep 4/14; Agreed to D 1/15
The pain keeps coming; she doesn't stop. At the start if this thread I still held out hope that she would come out of the fog; that she would believe what her family, the pastor and myself had been telling her. I believed that she loved the boys enough to try to seek help. I believed that she may have still loved me beneath it all. I could see the fog lift ever so slightly many times. I hate this. I hate this. I hate this.
Thinking as I'm typing... I think I may have had some healing too. I will not allow myself to get sucked down to where I had been many many years ago with all the anger and spite.
Thinking more clearly today. This is the only move to make. Like my BIL said; it's time for the rubber to meet the road. W has always been selfish. This just tops the cake. The more I think about it, she has never had any respect for me either. Still plan to follow DB once the book arrives. At the very least it should put me in a better position.
Got back from my DivorceCare group. Had a pretty good meeting; todays video was on anger. Some helpful stuff in there for sure.
W was at the house with the boys. She's spending more quality time with them now then when she lived here. It's good that the boys see their mom as much as possible. It's good for me that I don't see or talk with her at all.
Tonight I'm in a pretty good place. On the roller coaster, tonight is a climb or peak.
