[BrightFuture]

FY, thanks for the comments. Yes, H was living by his decision. I think it only got strengthened with years for the simple reasons, because he was also very impatient with kids and kind of selfish.

Thanks for validating my comments on Matt’s thread. Sometimes I wonder if H is in MLC at all. I guess 2 years after BD is not that long in MLC world, but I get discouraged. Not only because it is taking this long, but also because I start thinking that he is never going to come out of this. This explains my reaction to Mirage’s words. It just depresses me. I’m not sitting around waiting for H to come to his senses. I have life, I’m moving forward. I just don’t understand how else I need to let go.

This is the subject that constantly comes to my mind. I think if I completely let go, I will not be on this board anymore. I know how it feels. I don’t give a d@mn about my first X. I just don’t care, it doesn’t hurt anymore, I don’t have any desire to discuss him. If I remember some bad things he did, it doesn’t bring any feelings. Nothing… At all… The only thing I regret is that he was not a good father to my son. But, I don’t blame him for that. I just think that I made the wrong choice by marrying him.

I’m desperately trying to reach the same state of mind now, but it is not quite working yet. Will it ever..?

Small update. Found out that H joined another dating site. This time for people over 50. I guess the bar scene is not producing the desired results. And it looks like he is lonely again. The excitement of rejoining his friends over there after a few months “vacation” is probably wearing out. The drums “parties” are probably getting old too. Interesting that he doesn’t have a picture on his profile or any details filled, besides the required info. I’m tempted to play some tricks there, LOL.