"The Show Must Go On"

[job]

I'm glad this part is finally over for you. It's been a long haul/struggle and one that has taken up quite a bit of your time lately. Hopefully you will be able to now focus on your children w/o having the additional worry and also on your future.

I'm sorry it came down to this, but I agree...you'll be able to walk tall, hold your head up and yes...sleep at night.

I can believe he's called you. You do realize it's not over w/him calling you and needing you? He's still attached you in his own sick little way, so please be prepared for more calls about minor things and/or w/excuses to just talk to you.

Take care.

[2BHappy]

WH

Now you can move on, whatever that means for you.

I would not take your XH calls unless it was about your kids, other then that let XH leave a message and you then decide if you need/want to call him back.

[LoisB]

It's done.

Whew. I'm glad you feel calm. Be good to yourself.

[kml]

Yay!!!! I never understood how people could celebrate their divorce - but by the time mine was done, I wanted to have a party just because the process was finally OVER!

I would not take your XH calls unless it was about your kids, other then that let XH leave a message and you then decide if you need/want to call him back.

I trained my ex to only communicate via text and email - and eventually just email. I like it much better that way. If he called, I'd reply in a bit by text. I just didn't pick up the phone when he called, or if I accidentally did, my cell phone would mysteriously lose coverage shortly into the conversation.

[LoisB]

I trained my ex to only communicate via text and email - and eventually just email. I like it much better that way. If he called, I'd reply in a bit by text. I just didn't pick up the phone when he called, or if I accidentally did, my cell phone would mysteriously lose coverage shortly into the conversation.

Wishing, he's not YOUR PROBLEM ANYMORE!! :-)

[wishing, hoping]

Thanks everyone. I am feeling a bit more elated. Yes, it is over. Finally. I feel like I have ran a marathon,

Thanks to everyone for their continued support through this trial and tribulation. I made it. And I survived.

J (the man formerly know as H) has already called me 5 times since we left court. WTF? He left one message that says he just bought the drinks for D's baseball game next week and if I could buy the snacks. Hello...we had this discussion this morning and I said I would. So you leave me a message that you bought drinks? What do you want? A bone? I called my mom and told her about it and she shouted out "I knew it!!!".

So after court I met some co-workers for a good-bye happy hour for another co-worker. Nice getting out with some friends. People were congratulating me on getting it finalized so that was weird to hear and they even bought me congratulatory drinks. I ended up talking with a male co-worker whose divorce became final today too. It was nice to talk to someone. And I felt no guilt about it.

We will see how things go with the refinance. J is supposed to close Tuesday. I will keep my fingers crossed.

WH

[beatrice]

WH - my xh asked me to have lunch with him after the divorce. But I already had plans.

And sadly I agree with Job, the calls will go on. We try to train them but it is like trying to train a cat - they try and make the rules!!

It is hard, and you may have a rollercoaster of emotions in the next few days.

[wishing, hoping]

Well guys, J called me again five times today. I avoided all calls and only emailed and texted. I saw him at D's game and he wanted me to come over to his place "to talk". I declined. He seemed put out. I got some takeout Chinese and some wine and went home. Later he texted me and asked me to call. Really???? WTF?

My friend told me he wants to give me the "let's be friends" speech. I don't know. I am sure it's a speech so he can feel better about everything. Kinda feeling me out so that we are "okay". I do not know how I would respond to that. We aren't "ok" and we really aren't "friends". Would I really tell him how I feel? Would I say nothing? I guess I will just wait and see.

Busy weekend planned. Looking forward to it. Hopefully it will stop raining eventually.

WH

[beatrice]

WH - there are no certainties in life, but I would agree with your friend. These guys do seem to feel that we should be 'friends' But as many have remarked here, friends do not treat you like this. Even during divorce.

A good friend of cf mine went to divorce care classes, and the difference between what she (and a couple of other people with MLCers) were gong through and the rest of the class was just totally different.

I strive for civility (although don't always achieve it) in the very limited interchanges that I have, but friendship? It isn't possible imho as it is always about what they want.

Right now your xh aka J wants to feel OK about himself. He doesn't give a d*mn about how you feel, I could almost guarantee.

[BklynMom]

I am just starting to deal with the betrayal I feel from losing my best friend aka xh the way I did. With no warning and denying that I was of any value as a friend.

My ex also claimed to want to be friends but that is so insane after being treated so badly.

You are doing the right thing by keeping your distance. It is not your job to clear his conscience.

Glad you had a nice time with you coworkers.

Good times lie ahead of us!!