It's interesting to think about how people would respond if she was here to put in her point of view. But she's not depressed. Let's start with that.
Talked to her more last night just about that part, it does have more to do with her diabetic pain, plus other diabetic issues she's pending for seeing an endocrinologist to address the hormone side.
Of course, they can't see her for at least another month.
I'm just going to state this again to see if it holds, just for the sake of the argument to see what the next step I need to take should be; Our marriage is very good, my wife is very happy, she just doesn't want to have sex. She's too tired, now from Cymbalta adding to it much worse, for example.
So she is taking an antidepressant and you are saying she is not depressed?
How do you know this?
I am with goatgal on this one, go back and re-read her post it was excellent I thought. Don't brush that off.
No, I'm saying exactly what she told me, and what her doctor said.
Yes, she's taking Cymbalta now, but no, not explicitly for clinical depression, not at all. She's taking it for physical pain (among other pills for the same pain). The doctor said it would have a "side effect of a mood enhancer," but that it was prescribed explicitly for her foot pain in particular, both as a result of cancer 5 years ago and diabetes.
Brushing people off? Is that how I sound? I apologize; I certainly don't mean to be rude, merely I want to make sure I'm getting the point across when I leave something out and the conclusion results in being different from the actual circumstances.
I'm not trying to be defensive by saying she's not depressed, but rather I'm trying to make clear what the situation is. I'm not sure if she and her doctor both saying here that she's not depressed would change anyone's mind simply because he precribed her Cymbalta but, well, here we are.
If anything else, the negative side effects, particularly sleepiness, so far seems to be doing more harm than good. Nothing ever really eliminates her foot pain----most of the medicine is just to keep it at bay (if she forgets it for too many days, like on vacation one weekend, the pain is crippling). Cymbalta is a non-opiate and I think that's one of the reasons it gets looked at, particularly for this specific type of pain.
I understand the idea that depression might be why a wife would lose libido, and I don't mean to sound abrasive, but my wife is not depressed. I'm not sure I could ever really change anyone's mind here on that, but take my word for it just for argument's sake to see if there is any more advice or solutions we can work on in the meantime.
