(Can SOMEBODY tell me who the heck all these younger woman are who want our messed up, older husbands??? I'd run from these guys like the plague! I don't get it....)
I wish I had something useful to add, but I I don't.
Other than, activating our H's "guilt" response is not helpful.
Even if it's not on purpose, that feeling of "bad" when they're talking to us or around us, just makes them want to avoid us more.
I was guilty of saying things that inadvertently made him feel guilty about how I was living (like a friggin' pioneer with no heat and no running water!) or issues with the animals when he wasn't here to help.
I *thought* I was just relaying information, even showing my great strength, out in the blizzard with my cane, (back flared up) carrying wood for the fire.
Instead of him admiring my fortitude, he told me he felt "EVEN WORSE" because he felt guilty... and so... he didn't want to face me.
So whatever you can do to show him "happy, moving on, making plans for my future" sonas, that's what you need to do.
Fake it 'till you make it.
Avoid any questions or comments about OW. She/they are irrelevant in the big picture and you can't control it anyway.
You have the proof you need, let it rest.
Sounds like he's stuck in his own vortex and the best you can do is stay out of it as much as you can.
Hang in there!
---GG
Me 54 Him 63 M 23 T 29 0 Kids Funny Farm of Rescues 12/12 OW-- 5/13 ILYBINILWY: A denied 9/13 Proof OW: ENDED 2/14 Got D papers on my BD I kicked him out for my sanity 9/14 He wants to "talk"?