What to do II

[Ben2010]

Yeah I messed this up pretty bad. I had no idea that she was that into physical touch until I read 5LL. She still told me that she doesnt care sex though, Im sure it has to be some other technique that Im not doing or something there.

Im doing well with the porn addiction right now. I have not looked at it in over 3 weeks now and it seems to be a distant memory. I dont understand why I couldnt do this before. I still plan on reading books to help me understand it and make sure it doesnt come back. I just find that if when I get the urge to look at it, I think of how disgusting I will feel right after it and worse than I did before looking at it.

Im also quality time. Let me point out that for months I have begged her to spend time with me by ourselves and almost never got it. Way before the other girl that she thinks I cheated on her with. Thats all that I wanted and she just couldnt understand that just like I couldnt understand her physical touch issues. I can see why I valued being around the other girl now, because it was quality time and she always paid attention to me. I am not making excuses for what I did, just trying to explain why now that I understand it. It was wrong either way and I regret everything about it.

Coincidentally words of affirmation are her second LL. I see what youre saying about it. She has never really talked dirty and neither have I when we are having sex. Maybe sometimes something small would be said. When I get the chance again I will correct this. I never really thought about it before. It is good to hear this coming from a similar woman. I do want to throw this out there though. She has never been with anyone other than me before. I was her first real relationship and she saved herself for that. So she is very inexperienced with anything other than what I do.

The things we learn when its too late...

I will say that sex is not often a love thing for me either but it is sometimes. Most of the time I want to just have fun with it. I can understand her needing to feel loved during it and sometimes made that a priority. I wonder if I could do the "You. Bed. Now" thing to her...I will try that when I get the chance. Maybe it will erase a couple of issues or at least soften them.

And yeah I have decided to not bother talking to her family anymore. I will just let it go and not talk to her dad. I know that he is expecting my call soon, but it is just too much of an issue to bother with. Plus I dont see much good coming out of it. I will say that I have not made my intentions clear of what Im trying to do with her parents though. I did talk to her brother about it and he talked to her dad so Im sure that they know. If not then I guess then it doesnt really matter. They are all for her trying to work on the M. I do not want them pressuring her though so that she is forced to come back to me. They do have that kind of influence on her.

Thanks for the advice or eye opening from a woman's point of view with the same kind of issues.