Roller coaster and then some

[daring]

Hi Matt- thanks for your perspective- from what I've read I think many of the same things you do but when hoping for a positive outcome I know I may be skewing my view of things.

Trying hard not to show pain but without any down time away right now it's been hard. Interestingly though- he moves toward me if I show some bug it's not overwhelming. Almost like he wants take care of me. And that's a bit of a 180 for me to accept that as I can tend towards the strong " I don't need anyone" behavior.

It's interesting that I'm actually not upset at him for doing what he did. Our marriage was in a rough place, even before his MLC started. We had gotten into a bad cycle of negativity and there were a lot of issues he had never addressed from childhood that I always felt might bite him. I had also slipped into some bad patterns and re- examining where I am has been very good for me.

What I will be disappointed by though, is if this doesn't ultimately result in us back together and stronger. But I know I'm not in control of that outcome.

Thanks again for weighing in.