Well, lots of people split the claiming of the kids - it's commonly done - and if you let him claim one, it might make for a larger total return between the two of you. So what if you calculate how much you lose by claiming only one child instead of two, and then offer to let him claim one in return for him paying you the difference?
For instance - if you get an additional $1000 back for two kids instead of one - let him claim that one, he gets, say, $3k back because he can claim HOH also, then he pays you $1000 of that. You don't lose anything and he gains something. Win win.
Our mediator said H cannot claim HOH If I have the kids the majority. I trust him. He is the one who suggested I let H claim both kids every other year.
I can claim HOH but H can't.
AT BD: WH 41, J 43; Bomb 2/5/2012 Two kids, one dog D Final 6/18/14 J marries OW 1/24/15 "No matter where you go, there you are"
So this is it. I am off to make this final. I can't believe it. It's been such a process. I am kind of numb.
So many emotions flowing through me. I never wanted my marriage to end, but now I can see that there is no way I can stay married to this man. He is toxic. I want so much to see the good in him. But I have to face the truth.
I am starting back to counseling because I have to work through this mass moray of emotion before it overtakes me. I just don't know how to feel.
WH
AT BD: WH 41, J 43; Bomb 2/5/2012 Two kids, one dog D Final 6/18/14 J marries OW 1/24/15 "No matter where you go, there you are"
Be strong. There is life on the other side, so I've heard.
Me 54 Him 63 M 23 T 29 0 Kids Funny Farm of Rescues 12/12 OW-- 5/13 ILYBINILWY: A denied 9/13 Proof OW: ENDED 2/14 Got D papers on my BD I kicked him out for my sanity 9/14 He wants to "talk"?
now I can see that there is no way I can stay married to this man. He is toxic. I want so much to see the good in him. But I have to face the truth.
THIS is the crux of the matter for you. Your H didn't change overnight from a wonderful guy into this obnoxious crazy A-hat. He had issues all along that you ignored, and now you have to let go of your fantasy about who you thought he was.
You can mourn the loss of the dream, but you should be RELIEVED not to be married to his craziness anymore. And you need to work on looking at your issues that led you to think his brand of crazy was ok to pick, so you don't pick it again.
Quote: now I can see that there is no way I can stay married to this man. He is toxic. I want so much to see the good in him. But I have to face the truth.
THIS is the crux of the matter for you. Your H didn't change overnight from a wonderful guy into this obnoxious crazy A-hat. He had issues all along that you ignored, and now you have to let go of your fantasy about who you thought he was.
You can mourn the loss of the dream, but you should be RELIEVED not to be married to his craziness anymore. And you need to work on looking at your issues that led you to think his brand of crazy was ok to pick, so you don't pick it again.
Thanks K. This really helps me today too.
Wishing, I can't wait for this to be over for you and the kids. What an A-Hole. Your H NEVER ceases to amaze me.
I get caught up in memories of who He USED to BE. My brain can't seem to wrap around this strange, insensitive person he IS TODAY. But, K is dead on. There were warning flags and I ignored them.
And, there wasn't a damn thing I coulda done about these red flags anyway. He wasn't willing to face his own shid. So, I guess my regret is not taking better care of myself sooner and seeing the writing on the wall.
"You know, it's times like these when I realize what a superhero I am." Tony Stark/Iron Man
“Focus on what you can do, then do it with all your heart.” Lois Wilson
