Just read your new post and skimmed through the old thread you linked to. As ever, there are so many similarities to my situation.
When your H left and you didn't know where he was living, and hardly took any money out of your account, I can guess he was staying with OW. Also explains why he didn't want to commit to getting his own apartment - why would he need to?
When my H dropped the bomb, he also dropped me in the financial shi$, saying that after six months of paying the mortgage only, I would be on my own! I was a stay at home Mum! So your H was more reasonable at least on that front. I had to go see a lawyer and get a legal separation agreement drawn up to ensure that H supported D and self. We've come a long way since then (April 03), where we finally got legally separated this week, but H assured me that he would always be there for D and I on the financial front, until I had sorted things out from my end.
It is great news that he wants to go out to dinner with you for V day.
My advice to you would be to stay on course with your own independent life, stay pleasant and validating with H whenever you are together, let him do the bulk of the pursuing, maintain a little mystery, and keep patient!
Livnlearn
"The unexamined life is not worth living" - Socrates
