As much as it seems the wrong thing to do by giving her space, it is the absolute only thing that will. There is nothing you can say which will cause a magic shift in her thinking. I would strongly encourage you to start reading other people's stories on this forum. You will see first hand how the principles of DB actually work. The most important thing you have to remember is this is NOT going to be a quick process. This is going to take time. Possibly more time than you even want to consider at this point. Just remember, it took your wife a long time to get to the point in her mind where she is willing to walk out. So it will take a long time as well to change her mind.
How you change her mind is by changing yourself. Spend this time working on yourself and identify areas in your life where you know you had shortcomings in your relationship. By giving your W space it allows her to be alone with her thoughts and get a perspective of her life as well as a life without you.
Since there is an affair involved, like in my marriage, the dynamics change somewhat. In a nutshell, you are probably looking at more time because you have to let the affair run its course, then she has to get over it. Many vets here equate that to an addict having withdraws from drugs. There is a science behind it. Google PEAs and affairs, and the anatomy of affairs. It will give you a little better insight and understanding.
Stick with this forum and post frequently. This is a great place for support and advice, as well as a place to keep you on track.
Best of luck to you.
Me: 42 W: 32 Married 7 years together 8.5 S1: 7 S2:7 Bomb #1: 09-16-13 Recon #1: 11/13 A discovered 04-03-2014 W filed D 05-19-14 but never served me I filed D 12-02-2014 S 05-31-14 Divorced 5-19-16
