Newbie needs help

[pilot]

Believe none of what you hear and half of what you see. I know those words dont sound like much, but if you take the time to read some of the success stories from start to finish you will see LBS saying the same things you are saying now. Remember your W will speak in absolute negatives. She will rewrite your marriage history. Dont listen to it and dont take it to heart. Her views will change in time regardless of how your M turns out. RIght now she is hurting and scared, and needs to convince herself she is doing the right thing.

I read recently where you dont reply with "I understand where you are coming from" because you really do not. You cant at this point in time. Instead say something a little more validating like "It must have been very hard/painful for you over the past few months/years".

Also, do not move out of your home if you have a choice. Stay there and stay with the kids. If she cannot live with you, let her move out.

All in all it does not sound like your M cannot be salvaged. The fact she admits she still loves you is more than some people on here get. Keep your chin up, and make sure you stick to the guidelines of DB.

Best of luck.

***edited for content