There is something you're going to have to understand about gucci. He and I would often butt heads because he insisted that his way was best and the ONLY way to go. He didn't believe in personal change, or whatever. Just the belief that you just need to drop the other person cold turkey and F' them because they weren't good enough for you. And that they had to earn their way back to you.
I pointed out that myself and others have saved our M without resorting to dating other people and changing. But he believed that to be weak. I don't know how many people I've seen follow his advice and then come back here losing their spouse because they didnt' change themselves. He even had a few of his posts deleted because he was calling out some posters on a personal level. Pretty low.
His way IS NOT detachment. It's a F'You attitude which only builds resentment in you. You don't learn how to heal in a healthy way and you end up bitter.
Look, every situation is different. Sometimes the hardnose way will work and sometimes it won't. As similar sounding as everyone's situations are on here, the backgrounds are different. You are going to have to go with the plan that best suits YOUR situation.
The bottom line is that YOU need to read the books. Do what works and change what doesn't. And especially change that which caused your spouse to fall out with you in the first place.
If you plan to follow gucci's straight advice, then I can't help you. Good luck.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
