BD and 6 mts later PA confirmed

[Bunches]

Okay, so I get this email from W today. Really a bit aggrivating. I feel like she is turning perspective on me to make it look like I'm the bad guy now. She makes several examples to me changing the plans of visitation to S, but throughout my threads she was constantly changing life courses and then also lying to me about A until I found out. Now she is really unhappy with our situation and seems to blame me.

Here is her email below. I'm really disgusted with it.

"I know things are a little weird right now, but there is a lot of things regarding our situation that are bothering me and I am tired of holding back and not saying anything.

First of all, my biggest concern is S. When we first separated we agreed that we were to put S first regardless of how we felt about each other and what was going on between us. Up until the last month or two, I felt that we had done that. When I left, we agreed it was best for S to stay in the house with you, for at least the remainder of the school year, for his stability and routine. It was uncomfortable, but I picked him up off the bus everyday and spent time with him and saw you everyday, just to give him the time he needed with both of his parents. I still was unemployed and as much as he was living with you, I was still his primary care. We agreed that I would have him when he was not in school, so I decided to get a job as a bus driver so I could continue to be available when he was not in school. Then when I started my training for bus driving, I couldn't pick him up every day, so we worked out a joint visitation schedule that I could spend two evenings a week with him and every other weekend. That worked great! Then when I actually started driving, I again got to see him every day, but still spent the two evenings a week with him and every other weekend. Again that was fantastic. Then the plan was to have him move in with me for the summer, since again I would be on summer break with him, and you would begin with the visitation schedule that I had been abiding by for months. But when the time came, you were no longer comfortable with that, so I bowed down and agreed to your schedule of us having him every other week in a joint custody schedule. This no longer works for me. I understand that you don't want to see me, however, I didn't want to see you everyday in the beginning but I did so I could see my child and it was what was best for him. It is absolutely ridiculous for someone else to watch our child when I am perfectly capable and available to do so. We always said if one of us needed help with S for anything, the other parent would be the first to be contacted to be given the opportunity. You are now calling family members, a lot of the time my own family members, to take care of S when you are working, and to top it all off you and they are keeping it all from me. I have a right to know where my child is and who they are with and it is absolutely unacceptable for me not to have a chance to spend time with him when you can't. He's my son too, and I should definitely have a say in this. We said we weren't going to put S in the middle of all of this, but that is exactly what you are doing. He needs me, just like we both need him. So until, I have a different job and schedule, we need to revisit how the visitation is working out. If you don't want to see me, I can work it out with SIL to get S and bring him back to her, but I am not going to keep going a full week at a time without seeing my son. Let me know your thoughts on this.


Second, I am going to ask you to please stop contacting my family to help you out with S. I should be your first contact, and if I have a conflict, I will reach out to my family for assistance if necessary. Up until the last little bit, I did not mind you staying in touch with my family, but now that you and they are keeping it from me all the time, I do have a problem. This is a very delicate situation and we need to leave everybody out of it as much as possible. I understand that family is there to help, but putting the family ahead of the parent is not okay. I haven't done that with your family and I have ALWAYS gone to you first if there has been a schedule conflict with Nathan, and I don't intend on it changing. I ask that you show me the same respect.


I know that things are a little crazy for you right now with work, moving, and the divorce. I also know that I have hurt you a lot and I'm sorry for that. I really want us to be able to work everything out and have a good relationship for S's sake. I will not keep him from you and still want as much of a joint custody schedule as possible. It is what's best for S, and in all actuality, it's best for us as well. We need our son. And nobody, especially each other, should get in the way of that.


I'm sorry to hit you with this, however I'm tired of being quiet. All my life I've kept my mouth shut to avoid conflict, and I am always the one to get hurt because of this. I am trying to build myself a new life, and this is part of it. If you would like for us to meet somewhere and discuss this further, that's fine. But things are going to have to change one way or another. You can't keep changing the plan just to benefit yourself.
"