I've lost a very big chunk of weight. Starting to have more energy overall, and better outlook. Seeing old friends is a big one. Going on a raft trip this weekend with a couple of friends from long ago. I am not trying to say I'm perfect, but having the time to step back and look at the things that I did, it's like something just went off. My fathers family is not very close at all, and I could see some of the things that they would do in me. Like getting angry over pride and ego, having to be right, and just thinking the world screwed them. Now I can see that it's all about choices, they chose to do these things, and view negatively the whole world. I have a new mission to break this cycle, at least on my part, by being more compassionate, and understanding. Knowing how to handle certain sitch's that just need some tender care instead of full boar anger. I know kind of a rant, but truth none the less. I want to start over and get to know that side of the family again. I lost my last grandparent over Xmas, day after in fact. That really got me to thinking more about this. But just a side bar.
One thing tonight, I finally got a break, and got some info from W. We were texting about kids, and the talk went to relationship. She gave me 3 huge keys I think. One, she doesn't want a miserable life forever. Two, she's not ready to be vurnerable right now, Three, she told all about her weekend away. In fact she was excited to tell me she was water skiing, which she handt done for years. You could really tell the happiness that gave her. And we talked a bit more about her weekend and some other stuff. A little win yes, but a win I think. We are even going to watch my oldest at her dance class tomorrow night together. No relationship talk when at class, just shooting the breeze finding out more about her. Overall at least a good night and something to possibly build on. Not getting to excited, but I think she can see some changes and even a bit of compassion as well.
