Wife in MLC and getting ready to leave #5

[BrightFuture]

Matt, and everybody, sorry for high jacking this thread. I just wanted to answer to those of you who posted the replies to my earlier post.

Mirage, it doesn’t offend me to read posts like that. Maybe I misread it, but it sounded like a downer to me. Why it bothered me? Because like I said I come to this board for hope and support. It doesn’t matter if I express the same feelings over and over again, I always have somebody repeating the basics to me over and over again. My friends and family are way past this kind of support. They just want me to get over it and move on.

Wonka, I get it that you just want to be “realistic”. It makes me think about what my H said about me. One of his issues with me was that I was “negative” from his point of view. I thought I was realistic. Two years post BD, I’m in a different place, my glass is half full most of the time. On the other side, when I look at H from outside, I see that he had some convictions that were purely based on how he wanted to think. For example he only has 10-15 years to live, that I will never change, etc. He thinks that this is realistic and not negative in any way. He always likes to say that “this is the way it is”. So, I supposed I can say that my H’s views are different too. He is not mean, he is quite reasonable in a lot of things, he is not blaming me anymore, it looks like he is content with his life. Should I consider him making it through MLC and being on the other side now? Just with the different views… This is where I’m confused. This is what probably triggered my response to Mirage.

Mach1, you said that Mirage is not trying to steal anybody’s hope here. I believe it. It is just I have a science background and when I hear that very few make it out of MLC, I think statistics, and it makes me hopeless. How am I better than somebody else to make that small percentage of success? This is depressing.

Job, I like the 50/50 chance a lot better. I might come to the same conclusion as Mirage in a couple of years, but I guess I need some hope and positive outlook for now. This is a process, and we all go through it in our own pace.

Again, sorry for the high jack and for the ramble (I just cannot express what I think and feel as good as other people here.) I will not bring this topic again.