KGirl - Movin' On and Out!

[KGirl]

Thanks, everyone. You've convinced me to leave things be! If he were to end up reconsidering his stance but then not bothering to reach out to me because he figures it's too much work/I'm probably done/etc., then that's not really the type of person I want to be with (one who can't openly communicate what he wants and ask in return). And, there were many times I said that this wasn't what I wanted and other things along those lines, so there shouldn't be much, if any, question.

I am actually enjoying my apartment and getting everything set up! I have a patio table now and am going to get some plants for my pots tomorrow, and my bedroom furniture is coming on Friday. I mean, I'd rather be at home and fully invested in an M with my H, but considering the situation I think this is the best I can do. My order of situations (best at the top) would be:
1. In the house with H, working on our M with an interested H
2. In my apartment solo but working on our M with an interested H
3. In my apartment solo with an uninterested H
4. In the house with an uninterested H

So, I've at least moved up from the worst-case situation?

I'm scared of things happening that I can't control, and that are hypothetical, and that I don't even know if I KNOW would have happened because H could just never tell me. The biggest thing I'm scared of is that he gets physically involved with someone and then later wants to R. Or maybe admits he's already been involved with someone in that way. I don't really want those things to be kept secret, but I'm scared I wouldn't be able to put it behind me and not think about it, no matter how much he does to regain my trust. And if he says he didn't do anything... how can I believe him? I know I shouldn't worry about it, but now that we're not in the same house his activities are completely unknown to me.