I'm so shocked and heartbroken , this can't be rea

[MrBond]

"I don't know anything about you or your sitch , how did your DB - IN go?"

I saved my M. Plus a few more on here as well as others.

[rsl1034]

You are indeed a Saint

[rsl1034]

Hey MrBond, I have apologized to you at least 3 times. I àdmitted that I responded to you with some anger. You know that nuance is lost posting on blogs right?
You may be a far better man than I , or you may not be. I read your post as condescending, and I may have missed the message in the presentation. What else do you want from me?
I am SORRY TO HAVE OFFENDED YOU!

[rsl1034]

Just out of curiosity, how many of you guys that have responded to me are 12 steppers? Not that it matters.

[MrBond]

"You are indeed a Saint"

Maybe I just don't "get" the constant sarcasm from you.

""I don't know anything about you or your sitch , how did your DB - IN go?"
I saved my M. Plus a few more on here as well as others."

You asked a question. I answered. Yet for some reason you called me an a-hole. Strange way to ask for help.

[MrBond]

Oh and by the way, I did have to deal with an OM in my sitch. Difference between you and me is that during my learning, I NEVER called out anyone. A little humility would help you here and in your M.

If your next comment to this is going to be a sarcastic remark, then I wish you well.

[Mach1]

There is a lot more to that list than what you read into it. The financial part was hard on us both while I went to school. I contributed what I could as a laborer and was the primary care giver to S between work and school. The financial issues at that time were different. I didn't really get that careless until I graduated and got a good job. I am in no means diminishing the fact that she shouldered a larger share of the financial burden.
And seriously, I make a list of what's wrong with me and you ask me if I'm proud of any of it.
I said before that I just started my new shift this week.
I go camping because I enjoy it.W says she does but her and S watch dad's the whole time. They don't like being dirty , bugs and such and yes I know that sacrificed to be with me. Much the way I go on hours long marathon shopping trips with W. It's just what you do when you're a family.
I don't always want my way and my way only. Quite the contrary , I'm way easy going and yes I'll acquiesce to avoid conflict. But I keep getting mixed messages here ,seems like a lot of you think I should just be an enabling pussy. Well I'll take a lot but pushed so far ,I will push back and then it seems like you're blaming me for being superior , selfish or blaming my [censored] on others which I'm not. I've already owned up to what damage I've done. Damage that is in the past for the most part.
I'm here just trying to understand. This didnt happen overnight, yet it happened in minutes right before my eyes.
As I said before I had been participating in behaviors that she had silently been banking resentment on and still we laughed loved and ML right up until that moment when I said I knew about OM and could prove it.
At that instant she stopped looking me in the eye ,changed horribly into someone I don't recognize. Since then I've been do anything I can think of to bring my W back. I'm sorry if I stepped on the toes of anyone here , I'm really tired and there are only 2 things that matter to me. Making sure S is ok and finding my W. Along the way I discovered DB. I m trying to put it to use.
The ideas aren't earth shattering ,I think any thinking person strives to be a better individual and I belive that I , for the most part have long tried to embody that. If I lash out well it isn't me in denial or not owning up to my character defects, it is me cursing the gods because I don't know how to lay in the same bed as my checked out W and not be allowed to hold her.
Do sincere apologies to anyone who had their feathers ruffled. Sincere thanks for all the good advice as well as the kicks in the ass.
I know my good outweighs my bad at the same time I know that my bad can be improved upon by a huge margin.

rs....

Before I post to you again, or delve into this....

Is this an emotional response ?

That you are apologizing for in later posts ???

I'm just curious, and either way, I am fine with it...

I won't speak for Mr Bond here, although I will tell you what I see from you, is a mirror of what he says...

The sarcasm, the lashing out and then following it up with an apology.

Sometimes, in this world, the apologies stop having as much power as they once had. A repeated occurrence of the same behaviors, and the apology becomes very empty, and meaningless over time....

What we see here, regardless of how much or how little information that you give to us, is the way that you are presenting yourself to other people...

We get that you are open, and emotionally raw, because we have been there too.....

When I ask you a question, it isn't as much about you answering me, as much as it is about having to answer to yourself. And YOU should be your biggest critic...

When you lash out, who is that anger directed toward ??

Us, for pointing it out ??

Or yourself ???

You are right, the DBing process isn't anything earth shattering, or new...

It is , however, about doing what works, and moving toward solutions rather than focusing on what doesn't work.

However...

You DO have to understand those past behaviors in order to prevent them from raising their heads in the future....

We tend to teach other people how we want to be treated, according to our behaviors...

[MrBond]

Still around?

[MrBond]

Still around?

[MrBond]

Still here? Ugh, I can't stand it when we help someone and then they just up and leave after asking for help.