have you considered asking about her father...maybe going with a different approach. I haven't read all your posts because frankly, they are a bit long for me. But what if you gave the impression to your w that you were happy for that she and her father have reconnected? would this be a 180?
M48 H50 M21 T26 S20 at college),S17,D15-cp, dev. delay- cogniv 5yrs old PA confirmed 7/2012 H separates 9/2012 H move home 2/13& 7/13 lasted 2weeks.ILYNILWY OW still in picture. h filed 10/13