Hoping for positive changes

[cczamo]

Hi Artsy! I'm just now reading your sitch, and I will have to go to earlier link to know what is really going on with your life.

Thanks for posting on my page about daily happiness challenge. I will search the web for it. I am currently reading the Happiness Trap, and to the chapter where the author recommends that when I start having negative thoughts about myself, such as "I'm getting divorced a second time and no one will want to be #3!", to laugh it off by hearing a funny cartoon voice saying it to me, instead of my normal internal voice. My voice of choice is Donald Duck's voice. It makes the unhappy/worrying internal thought that I too often say to myself less depressing. I can hear it from Donald Duck and move on. The author contends that you cannot make some of the negative thoughts go away, and not to beat yourself up for thinking them. Merely minimize them by humoring them, and then move on. It does seem to work for me somewhat.

In the meantime, please know that I too do feel embarrassed about being on D #2. I get you on that 100%. I am 56, you are 39. You have a long life ahead of you to try to get it right with someone. That should be a happy thought. Does this ring true for you?: I think back to my sadness and angst after Div#1. I can now think back to memories of M #1 or H#1 without sadness, only good thoughts and thankfulness. I feel that down the road, in time, I will be able to do the same with this ending of M#2, as well. I predict it will be easier for me to do sooner than with M & H #1, since h #2 and I do not have children together. I will miss my twin step-daughters, and I know H will miss my son, and that does make me sad, though.

You are blessed to have friends to help you get through your down day yesterday, whatever they did for you.

I will take your advise and work on demonstrating my affections rather than being an "Ice Queen." Easier said than done, as everyone in my family of origin is the same.