"The Show Must Go On"

[wishing, hoping]

My attorney suggested H take the $3000 he owed me for the marital credit card out of his 401K and then he wouldn't have to pay me installments and the language could be taken out of the PMSA entirely. I told my attorney H would have a bird, and a bird he had. I guess I can understand, but I tried to explain to H that it was just a suggestion but my attorney emailed H language that needed to be added in case we go that route, and H was furious about it.

We also had language that if H cannot refi then the house is ordered up for sale and H alone is responsible for the shortfall. He won't agree but I can see why. My attorney wanted language saying H has to live in the house until it sells and keep up with the mortgage and tax payments. H refuses to agree to this.

So I want to know what H's lawyer thinks it should say. Per him, his lawyer says it is out of line. I want to know what is common language and use that. H said the language favors me and isn't holding parties equally responsible. That may be the case, but he is the one who wanted the house. And now he has no car payment so I am feeling less and less sympathetic.

I want this done though. But H was dumb enough to take this agreement to the underwriter without having me review it. And now I am supposed to just sign it as is. Idiot.

WH

[wishing, hoping]

And btw, have you suggested to H that maybe if he would get a girlfriend who is gainfully employed, he wouldn't have any difficulty keeping the house ? lol

Makes me wonder how long OW will be able to be a "lady of leisure"? LOL! I predict H will make her fat @$$ roll back to work before the year is up.

He is just such a master manipulator. I wish someone would beat him at his own game. Thing is he just manipulates the same people over and over.

WH

[kml]

Yes, he's just being idiotic - taking the $3k out of the 401k is by far the best answer, won't affect his current cash flow at all,and then he can get his paper saying the car loan was a "gift" and get his refi - where's the problem?

(Btw - he still has a car payment, though, even if on paper he doesn't).

I don't see anything irregular in saying that as long as he's in a home with both of your names on the mortgage, he must keep up the payments and tax payments - otherwise those become YOUR liabilities too.

[wishing, hoping]

He doesn't want to give me any cash at all. He will take a major hit on his 401K if he does that, but it's really not my problem. He wants to take on more variable expenses for the kids but I can see him using that against me saying I owe him half that money if I don't watch my paperwork.

He says if he can't refi the house and it doesn't sell, he will just let the house go into foreclosure and screw us both. That is his plan.

Maybe I am better off going to trial? I don't know how I could ever afford it though. H seems to have a sugar momma with a sugar daddy.

WH

[Matt165]

Hi WH,
He may want to just let the house go into foreclosure but that's what lawyers and the legal process is for! I feel for you as my W seems to think that the D process will be so very easy and she will get everything she wants and no one will get hurt. He was the one who wanted to end the M. He had better start realizing that he just can't do whatever he wants and still get what he thinks is right. You are trying that is easy to see. He needs to wake up and understand that he is causing so much trouble and extra expense if he doesn't wake the heck up he will be paying the lawyers and still not getting what he wants! He is going to pay someone. You or the lawyers. If he pays them he probably will still not get all he is wanting as no court in the land will allow him to let the house go into FC and destroy your credit while he lives there are you don't! His lawyer must know that! I feel for you WH! Hang in there!

[job]

WH,
If you h is having problems making ends meet, how is he able to afford a lawyer? I thought he let the lawyer go a while back.

I seriously doubt that he's going to be able to afford refinancing, but one never knows with the mortgage companies these days. But, that's his problem and he needs to cough up the $3,000. That's really not a lot of money considering what he's spent on the ow.

[kml]

He doesn't want to give me any cash at all. He will take a major hit on his 401K if he does that

Ummm....if his 401k is so small that giving you $3k constitutes a "major hit", then his 401k isn't very important anyway, is it?

Do you think he would settle with you for $1500 if you said he has to give it to you now? He might jump at the "bargain", and at least then you'd have SOMETHING instead of nOTHING.

[wishing, hoping]

H's lawyer is being paid on a consultation level. She is not retained and bills him hourly. I think he put the lawyer on his credit card unless he is borrowing money from another source to pay that.

H just called and said his attorney emailed him and gave her input on the language so back to the drawing board we go. I don't think this will ever end.

I just cannot get over what a lying, conniving snake he has become. At least he won't be my problem anymore, but he has turned into someone I want nothing to do with. It just boggles my mind. He has practically gigolo-ed himself out to OW. GROSS!

When I picked up the kids yesterday H was decked out in garb OW obviously bought for him. Camo shorts with bright yellow socks and an Irish bar t-shirt. I guess H thinks dressing like he's 20 will make him turn 20. I asked S what was up with the shorts. He said they were a Father's Day gift and rolled his eyes. I guess OW thinks H is her father? LOL!

I can't believe this clown is the man I married.

WH

[wishing, hoping]

If he gives me the payout from his 401K he practically gives me his entire 401K, so no, his 401K is not large at all. Mine is twice what his is.

He probably won't go for any payout whatsoever because I don't know who else would loan him this money.

WH

[wishing, hoping]

H just admitted to me that OW's dad was the one who gave him $12,000 to pay off his vehicle loan. He told me the bank needed that amount in his loan application since he cannot claim it as gift money because it didn't come from a family member.

What a low-class jerk. Now I see why H is with her. Dollar signs. Is that why he was with me? I seriously feel used and cast aside now. I really hope he gets what is coming to him.

WH