I know I'm rambling but venting here is better than calling her, annoying my friends, putting my personal life all over Facebook, etc.
So..again, I'm terrified of what is going to happen in tonight's session. I know I can't control it and I want to take every precaution against coming across like a controller. But, I also don't want to set a precedent that she can do what she's doing without consequences. But...I'm afraid that she'll elect the consequences over the hard work of putting us back together.
Then again, if that's her choice I can't change it and I'll have to live with it and GAL. But, my heart is not in dating. It just isn't. I've done it and I don't have any heart for it. So, I'll have to be alone for a while and get my own act together. It'll hurt. It'll hurt a lot. I can survive it but it will be terrible.....
Tonight, I'm going to be careful of how I phrase my thoughts and feelings and hope that the counselor will be the one to tell her that the OM has to go if she wants to fix us. If the counselor can be the "bad guy" then it's not on me..it's not me trying to control things...it's advice from a professional.
But...what if the counselor doesn't do that? Then what...do I bring it up? Do I put it in the form of a question.."Would you be willing to end the relationship with OM if it meant the end of us?" I think that's a safe question and her response will be telling....
