Hi MM, Remember the story I told you about my exF so very long ago. She and I had great sex too. She left to be with someone else BUT the sex wasn't as good. She offered me a chance to have what your BF keeps saying is what he wants, just sex. If I had said yes, I'm certain we would have had "fun", lots of it! I'm a guy. This was a long time ago before the term FB was invented but that was what she wanted. Part of me thought "Well, maybe once we start doing that, she will see that she really wants ME, not him". That thought was what stopped me! I realized I didn't want "just" sex from her or anyone else. I have much more to offer someone than a roll in the sack! I may have enjoyed the act. It would have felt really good but I knew it would NEVER be enough. I wanted someone who wanted ME, ALL of me. You BF doesn't see you as someone who can give him what he wants other than sex and that [censored]. If he can do this after all the years you have been together it is him that has the problem. Show him, your D, yourself just how WRONG he is. Become the person you were meant to be and he has stopped you from being for so long. Stop being afraid of being alone or losing what you have now because what you have now is hurting you and holding you back!
Don't you see how his game playing is causing you to question your own self worth? He is playing you and by letting him you are starting to believe his crap about you not being enough! You think that if this guy who you've been with for so long doesn't think you are "good enough" than maybe you're not. This is how abusers work. This is how they get to their victims. Stop believing his crap and see him for what he is, NOT WORTHY OF YOU!! It actually hurts to read some of your posts because I see you buying into his game.
I know guys like him. I've seen some really great women beat down and believing their chit. Show him that you are more than a nice POA! You have value as a person, a partner in his business and he would be lucky to have you in his life. Until he see's you stand up for yourself and show him HE must prove HE is worthy of you, you will always be his little victim. Guys like him IMO actually have low self esteem. They see anyone who actually WANTs them to be of so little value that they don't want them! Once you stop buying into his game and start to really be the women you really are, I doubt you will even want him back in YOUR life!
Stop worrying that if you do this or say that he may think you are no longer interested. You aren't interested in what he has told you he is willing to give! He needs to know in no uncertain terms that you aren't interested in what he is offering. By trying to leave the door open just in case he see's the error of his ways and suddenly changes his mind and wants more is counter productive and is sending the wrong message at this time. I know what you are trying to do as I have tried to do the same with my W. The problem in your case is that until he see's that you will be totally gone, he will always think he can have you on his terms.
Stop worrying about "game playing" or pissing him off. I don't even know the guy or you (not really) and he's pissing ME off! Guys like him give all men a bad image. If he was a real man he would stop using you, your shared history and the fact that you love him for his own gratification! I don't know what he was like before MLC but NOW he is a user and a creep. Do yourself and him a favor and show him that real men don't act like this and you want a real man!
Don't just drop the rope, cut it! If he comes to his senses and wants you back on your terms, he will need to supply a new one and it will be up to you to decide if you want to grab ahold or not!
