Forgot to say, he had opened up emotionally once or twice since this happened, more than he ever has in 25 years of marriage, he has cried and told me how awful he felt, how he has no feelings for anything, how he doesn't know what love is, doesn't know what he wants, that we are not enough for him. I listened and validated and cried with him and told him that I loved him and would stand by him and also told him that this does not justify an A. Also, our son has his own difficulties with his father. Everything he knows about his birth mother has come from me (things my H told me over the years - not much) and his father's sisters / brothers. His father has never had a conversation with him about his mother, what she was like - nothing. This has upset him over the years and I always encouraged him to talk to his father but he father has a way of putting you off talking about emotional issues (with all of us). When he was 18 he asked his father to go for a drink with him to talk about his mother - this was difficult for my son and he was nervous, when he eventually got the courage to bring up the subject, his father said 'what do you want to know', this was difficult for our son, he had just wanted his father to talk about her. They came back from the pub and our son told me that he got the impression that his father didn't want to be there and didn't want the conversation and he was never going to bring up the subject again as he felt like a fool. Our son is 31 now and they still have not had the conversation. Also, I have read so much on this site and it has been a godsend, I lurked for months before getting the courage to tell my story and I'm not sure if I am telling it well enough yet!!!
