"I need to get her and him out my head because thats whats driving my negativity and ruining my marriage."
No. YOU are creating your own negativity and ruining your M. If it's not their friendship it's going to be something else you're going to blame. Man up and start taking responsibility. That's why she doesn't see any change from you.
"He says he has stopped talking to her and so it seems so."
Who cares? In fact, you probably wrecked a pretty good friendship for her. What about the next guy she talks to? Are you going to go ballistic on him as well?
"He says that I shouldnt move out not yet and get the car for her because a car represents freedom."
Sounds like a good idea, but I would put conditions on the car.
"I hear that after the guy truelly moves on and lets go thats when the girl comes back.. I dont know but if your telling me not to move out I guess I wont unless she tells me.. because shes looking to tell me in about a month. I literally have a month to tey and fix things."
Seriously? She will only come back if you're changed. Period. You haven't even done that with all your paranoid texting. I say not to move out because it puts you in a worse condition legally. Based on your track record, I don't think a month is going to prove anything. You have to prove it to yourself you can do it. And start acting it.
She was crying so much yesterday I honestly dont think she would make a decision with me being there. So I really dont kniw mrbond"
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
"I need to get her and him out my head because thats whats driving my negativity and ruining my marriage."
No. YOU are creating your own negativity and ruining your M. If it's not their friendship it's going to be something else you're going to blame. Man up and start taking responsibility. That's why she doesn't see any change from you.
"He says he has stopped talking to her and so it seems so."
Who cares? In fact, you probably wrecked a pretty good friendship for her. What about the next guy she talks to? Are you going to go ballistic on him as well?
"He says that I shouldnt move out not yet and get the car for her because a car represents freedom."
Sounds like a good idea, but I would put conditions on the car.
"I hear that after the guy truelly moves on and lets go thats when the girl comes back.. I dont know but if your telling me not to move out I guess I wont unless she tells me.. because shes looking to tell me in about a month. I literally have a month to tey and fix things."
Seriously? She will only come back if you're changed. Period. You haven't even done that with all your paranoid texting. I say not to move out because it puts you in a worse condition legally. Based on your track record, I don't think a month is going to prove anything. You have to prove it to yourself you can do it. And start acting it.
She was crying so much yesterday I honestly dont think she would make a decision with me being there. So I really dont kniw mrbond"
Ive stopped texting her today.. I seriously need to get my insecurity out my head.. I need to stop that.
I cant get myself to detach.. its so hard.. I wish I could just block out my feelings.. if only it were that simple.
I think only way I can detach is if I did move out and just kept my self busy.. I cant do that at home with her because I have a choice of keeping busy or spending time with her.. and because I cant detach its rhe latter.
1Wish, you've been asked several times now what your GAL activities are. You've mentioned Playstation, housework and reading and it's a start. If you stayed at home, what can you do outside the house for yourself?
Me: 31, W: 29 T: 4 M: 2 Kids: 3 (SS: 7, SD: 4, D: 3) Separated, still living together: Nov 2013 Separate bedrooms: Feb 2014 W working away; kids with me: Nov 2014
Well to be honest there not much as im new to the area.. I guess I could go for walks? Its really a dead area and i dont know anyone here.. my friends live too far and I still havnt got my permit as im selling the current car and so dont have access to my car during weekday as its parked at my mums house.
Wife spoke about getting a bmw 1 series and sent me links to it. And spoke about letters being sent to my mums if we got it insured as we usually register things there. Asked if they would say anything I said no your my wife so why would they. Also she said our insurance should be cheap because we are married as well.
Being new to an area is a fantastic reason to get out and explore. The side benefit is that you get away from your wife, have time to think and you're less likely to get into those toxic discussions with her... and you'll have something interesting to talk about when she asks.
Me: 31, W: 29 T: 4 M: 2 Kids: 3 (SS: 7, SD: 4, D: 3) Separated, still living together: Nov 2013 Separate bedrooms: Feb 2014 W working away; kids with me: Nov 2014
Your right but where could I go to, to explore? Just walks? I dont mind walks I loose weight but in terms of going and doing things I wldnt know what to do by myself
Reread your post from the perspective of someone who is strong, independent and adventurous.
Me: 31, W: 29 T: 4 M: 2 Kids: 3 (SS: 7, SD: 4, D: 3) Separated, still living together: Nov 2013 Separate bedrooms: Feb 2014 W working away; kids with me: Nov 2014
There's more to GAL than just going out. It also includes doing things that will get you mentally and emotionally strong. How about reading the books for starters?
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
