What I took away from my last M with a third party in it was that it take two to make it work. What's different here is that she says she wants us to survive this..she wants us to come out stronger. (I know...believe 50% etc).
The 180's are particularly not reacting to stress and conflict by leaving the house. (A new pattern I picked up...before in the last M it was shouting and stomping around like an idiot). So, I've stopped leaving. I've implemented some personal "emotional time out" techniques and it has paid off.
The 180 with the kids is a long and complicated story that was driven by the ex-W from the previous marriage. In short, her two kids S9, S11 and my S9 aren't allowed to be around each other. Kids have been in counseling on both sides and we're going back into court to have this restriction lifted. It's a personal issue but it's related to kids (at the time 6 and 8) engaging in normal childhood curiosity. Unfortunately, the Ex-W went ballistic and her atty had an order entered and my atty wasn't willing to fight it. Told me to accept it and fix it later. So, I've had issues being able to open my heart to her kids based upon this issue. Now that I've finally put the legal matters in motion I've been able to be a better male-figure in their lives. I love them and they love me...genuinely.
I'm curious about the careful about ultimatums comment? From what I've read, that's the generally accepted approach to an A. End it so we can work on us...keep it up and there's no "us" to work on.
Where do you see that I have problems sticking to my decisions? Not disagreeing but in this thread I don't see where that was indicated.
She has had 1 M and a couple of LTR's...year or two. This is the longest she's had since her D...we're at 3 1/2.
