CSan - Filed, moving and life goes on....

[CS000]

After being away for an overnight trip with my friend, I returned to the house to finish the packing. I broke down and texted my STBXH and he was short and polite then I bought up him not wanting to talk to me anymore and he responded with I always reply. This isn't heading any where good and not in the mood to argue. I am hurting myself by doing this. I need to keep my distance to avoid making it worse between my STBXH and myself. Help?!?
Also I am feeling panicked and doomed which is the result of me not taking my anxiety medicine. I applied for a personal loan to be able to move out on my own sooner as I don't want to be a burden on my parents as they are struggling with paying my mom's medical bills. I feel like if myself and the boys are on our own, it will be better for us and we can really start coming together as a family and restarting. I wonder if I can truly drop the rope as I don't know what I want in respect to my STBXH. I just want to get it together and be fine....Thoughts on how to keep going now that divorce will be finalized in 3 weeks or so?