" I was abusive to her verbally, I can get scary mad I think you would say. We both tried to sweep under the rug, not confront anything."
YOU swept it under a rug. She was probably just afraid to bring it up.
All I've seen is you complain about the OM. But from what you described you did to her, I can understand her POV. I mean, how have you actually changed? I don't see much of that in your writings.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.